He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
