It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
