let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I'm at about main and main street
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
