CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I would fuck him just for his dog
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
