So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
