I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
