I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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