seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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