oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
