I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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