I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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