I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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