We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
