shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
