How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
