I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
