also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
