chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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