and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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