just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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