I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
