Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
