dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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