Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
