idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize