I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
