Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
