I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
