Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
