How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
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