Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
