We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Randomize
