i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we're making bets on your personal life
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
