You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize