Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
