You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Drunk is not a location!
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