I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.