Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.