Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?

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(206): Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug? http://tfl.nu/56z8

Replies (45) Good night (5860) Bad night (981)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"

(219): View more from Indiana

I have so much to learn from you, wise slut

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(812): Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!" (219): I have so much to learn from you, wise slut http://tfl.nu/eyww

Replies (20) Good night (3875) Bad night (972)
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(770): View more from Georgia

Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???

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(770): Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives??? http://tfl.nu/8m9c

Replies (65) Good night (7527) Bad night (1605)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up

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(920): he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up http://tfl.nu/v5zl

Replies (23) Good night (8177) Bad night (1286)
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(404): View more from Georgia

He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?

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(404): He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair? http://tfl.nu/ho1p

Replies (20) Good night (1126) Bad night (2761)
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(775): View more from Nevada

That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.

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(775): That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn. http://tfl.nu/5r2c

Replies (7) Good night (2792) Bad night (674)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

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(570): ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin! http://tfl.nu/i1tl

Replies (18) Good night (1651) Bad night (2340)
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(937): View more from Ohio

And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.

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(937): And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso. http://tfl.nu/q5xa

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(727): View more from Florida

This is John, I met you downtown last night.

(407): View more from Florida

Oh, ok.

(727): View more from Florida

This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night

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(727): This is John, I met you downtown last night. (407): Oh, ok. (727): This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night http://tfl.nu/3jh8

Replies (11) Good night (2732) Bad night (672)
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(407): View more from Florida

Beer acquired. Food is cooking

(1-407): View more from Florida

Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio

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(407): Beer acquired. Food is cooking (1-407): Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio http://tfl.nu/4aqs

Replies (3) Good night (1302) Bad night (449)
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(812): View more from Indiana

I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land

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(812): I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land http://tfl.nu/d4a5

Replies (10) Good night (1375) Bad night (436)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.

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(570): Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it. http://tfl.nu/3oup

Replies (6) Good night (725) Bad night (377)
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(720): View more from Colorado

We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.

(970): View more from Colorado

Oooh, he sounds pretty classy

(720): View more from Colorado

Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.

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(720): We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini. (970): Oooh, he sounds pretty classy (720): Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died. http://tfl.nu/8k1p

Replies (9) Good night (1116) Bad night (661)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.

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(204): Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that. http://tfl.nu/ii5o

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?

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(814): Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade? http://tfl.nu/q9y9

Replies (3) Good night (317) Bad night (585)

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