Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.