i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Use "feeling words"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?