I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son