I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize