His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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