So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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