Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is there bacon in the couch?
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
