Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
