why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
