My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
