I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
