i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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