I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
