I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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