What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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