i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
