My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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