i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
