I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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