I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
