i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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