They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
