I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
