He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
