walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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