ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize