do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
