That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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