just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
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The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
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She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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