Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize