well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
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